Review: The Man God Has For You By Stephan Labossiere
As previously mentioned in my post on 10 WAYS TO SLEEP BETTER TONIGHT, I’ve recently started listening to audio books. While I do own a Kindle, I’ve always preferred having an actual book to hold. I decided to try the audio route and download The Man God Has For You by Stephan Labossiere after coming across a clip of one of his speeches.
Labossiere, a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, wrote this book to highlight 7 traits women should take into consideration when choosing and investing in a life partner. In the last few months, I’ve realized I need to learn what type of man I should invest my time and energy in, instead of latching onto someone who isn’t right for me because I’m lonely.
While the book does pull in religious aspects, it is not overwhelming for someone who isn’t tied to a particular faith. Honestly, it talks about things that should be common sense for most women but usually gets lost in the fog that surrounds a new relationship. Here are the top points that really hit close to home for me:
- Myth: There aren’t enough men for every woman: The right man will enter your life when he’s supposed to. God doesn’t work on your timeline and most women sabotage themselves trying to stick to an unrealistic plan they’ve set for themselves. I’m 1000% guilty of this. I always thought I’d be married by a certain age (at 19, I thought it was 24… insane, I know) and my life would progress at the rate it was “supposed to”. Because of this, I’ve forced myself into staying in toxic relationships for far too long, hoping they’d eventually “work themselves out” so I could hit this “goal”, which was neither healthy or realistic.
- You will be attracted to him: “Looks should not be the focal point when seeking a partner, however they shouldn’t be ignored. God isn’t trying to set you up with someone you’re not attracted to.” Enough said.
- He will love and cherish you, not disrespect you: Let’s be honest, people get angry. People fight and tempers can run wild. But realistically, a man that disrespects you is not the man God wants for you. This chapter should honestly be common sense, but it’s not. A lot of women (myself included) invest so much of themselves in a relationship that they tolerate name calling, cheating, and other negative behavior because they are scared to leave and start over somewhere else.
- You will not have to make him into a man: THIS. A THOUSAND TIMES THIS. I’ve been that girl where I thought if I stood by and supported him while he tried to better himself, I’d reap the rewards of a wonderful relationship later on. The only thing was that I had to stand by the disrespect, stand by the binge drinking, stand by the drug use, stand by the infidelity… ya know, just be “the cool girl” through all of that because eventually it would pay off. NO. NO. NO. Labossiere says, “God didn’t make you to be a man’s crutch. You are not designed to carry a man” and no words are truer. Now it’s okay to stand by a man that can’t take you out on dates because he’s saving to start his own business or to stand by a man who can’t spend as much time with you because he’s studying for his degree. It’s NOT okay to stand by a man while he takes advantage of your loyalty and support. Because that man who took advantage of you, if/when he finally does get himself together, he’s going to find another woman that he considers to be on his level now, not you, the woman who stood by him at his lowest and is a constant reminder of that time in his life.
- Know and embrace your worth. Don’t entertain any man’s nonsense: There were so many points when I was listening to this book where I was just nodding my head, saying “YAAASS!”. To a lot of men these days, treating women poorly, cheating and just being a flat out jerk is considered “cool”. I once went out with a guy who was texting his ex-girlfriend “I miss you” during our date, at the same time he was showering me with compliments and trying to make future plans. How did I find that out? Because her texts kept popping up as I was ordering his Uber after he got BLACK-OUT drunk and couldn’t even stand on our FIRST date. It’s just mind-boggling to me how crappy guys can be, knowing damn well that if another man was treating their sister or mother like that, they’d be ready to throw down.
Overall, I LOVED this book and still listen to certain chapters from time to time. Like I said before, it’s basically things that are common sense which women tend to forget or choose to ignore because that familiar “hunger” pain, also known as “loneliness” is being fed. I highly recommend this book to women that are struggling with understanding why they aren’t meeting a good man or in a relationship they’re unsure about.