Go Ahead, Change For A Guy
I already know what you’re thinking. The title is either total click bait or I’m a used up, worn out human doormat encouraging women to be just like me. But truthfully, it’s neither. I’m all for changing yourself because of a guy if it’s the right kind of change. What exactly is the right kind of change you ask? The kind that encourages you to grow as a person in your relationship, as well as an individual. Not a change in your looks or beauty routine, but change that requires you to evolve mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
The right kind of change is:
- Taking a lesson or class to learn something new or enhance a skill you already have.
- Start exercising for your health and the confidence it gives you, not because of your weight.
- Experiencing new foods, new cultures, new movies, and stepping outside of your box.
- Engaging in deeper, more challenging conversations instead of just typical small talk.
The wrong kind of change is:
- Becoming needy, insecure, and losing confidence because of his shady behavior.
- Dressing or behaving in a way that makes you uncomfortable but pleases him.
- Doing things you’re not comfortable with (both in and out of the bedroom).
- Distancing yourself from friends and family to spend more time with him.
I’ve been in both of these positions. When I was 23, I dated a man who encouraged me to be my best self, to be independent, and to try new things. And then I’ve dated men (yes, I cringe that this is plural) who isolated me from my friends, put me in uncomfortable positions, and disrespected me over and over again.
The person you’re in a relationship with should want you to be whole as an individual, not just an extension of them. So, yes, if it’s the right kind, go ahead and change for a guy. Not only will you be adding value to the relationship, but you’ll be using that time wisely to develop into a well-rounded, educated, and unique woman so if things don’t work out, you won’t be walking away empty handed.